I’m the lady who makes the cakes but I’m also passionate about self-belief, self-confidence and being your best you. And occasionally I like to step out of writing recipes and write what’s on my mind. You may have read my post 10 ways to love your body which attracted lots of media attention recently.
There is so much to see on social media, so much going on.. who is wearing what, who is going where who is doing who and how and why. The cars, the jobs, the holidays, the make-up, the plastic surgery, the clothes the list goes on 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. It’s endless, it’s addictive, it’s powerful. But how do we filter the stream of what we could, should or would be when it’s so much damn fun being on social media?
Now people could say ‘well it’s all right for you’ (and other people) Lorraine but that statement does everyone a disservice. Most people struggle at different times with a secret treasure trove of insecurities, challenges and limiting beliefs and I’m no exception.
I’m a self-confessed social media junkie. I cannot consume enough of it. I largely use it for work (That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it). I have a golden rule of thumb with whom I follow. They might be the nicest person in the world but if one of their pictures triggers me (that is adversely affects my mood in a negative way) then it’s an immediate unfollow. I can only follow peeps that make me feel either neutral, amused, happy or inspired. It can be a little tricky on Insta as people can see when you unfollow them rather than Twitter (whose often hostile environment is slowly winning me back with its new ‘word’ filter) where you can just mute them without their knowledge thus causing no offence.
I’ve listened to countless talks and interviews with very successful people saying that they are grateful for where they are and for what they’ve achieved but although the horrendous stresses of not being able to pay the bills has gone, they are still not immune from the haves and the have nots and the not-feeling-good-enough comparisons with others.
Why am I writing this today? I have a twenty year old daughter who has grown up in this rapid world of change, with immense pressure as to how to look, where to go and what to do and how to be. Young kids now have in the palm of their hands technology which was only available to Governments 25 or so years ago. I applaud my daughter’s (and so many other young folk) strength and self-confidence in being able to remain her authentic self. I’ll be writing another piece on why we should lay off millennials at some point later. But it struck me that whoever you are and whatever age, there is a tendency to compare ourselves with what we see on social media.
The bizarre thing is we look at an image in its sometimes filtered and facetunned perfection and compare it with how we feel on the inside. Comparing our insides with somebody else’s ‘outsides’. This in turn can lead to thoughts of not being good enough. Can you relate?
It’s been written a million times now, but I wanted to add this blog post to the pile… there is absolutely no way of knowing what is going on in the minds, souls and hearts of anyone. No matter how gorgeous the person looks, what job they have, or how toned their body is, or how hot their boyfriend/girlfriend looks.. it has no indication whatsoever of what lies beneath and what is going on internally once the selfies have stopped.
I have always been a happy person at heart, and am fairly content a lot of the time but I have posted smiley pics when at the time I’m not really feeling that smiley on the inside. And having read oodles of your gorgeous messages I know so many of you have done this too. Of course it’s fine to do but try to remember not to be fooled all the time by what you see, as so many of us do.
If I’m feeling a little down, I like to find a podcast or a YouTube video full of motivational talks and interesting people. I love Gary Vay ner Chuk (very marmite) and lewis Howes. Both very different in character but enough to get me out of my own head for a little bit.These kind of talks can be very comforting and positively distracting whilst you are having a duvet diving type of day. But if you feel you really do have depression, anxiety or any other mental health issue which is really affecting you then it’s super important to seek some help (click here).
When I’m having a day where the clouds and fog won’t seem to lift from my heart I find the best way forward is to embrace it, and not fight it. I like to Seek comfort in healthy things such as fresh air, good friends/family, nature, healthy food and nurturing talks or articles. I also try to remember not to go into the ‘Instagram hole’ going deeper and deeper into new IG accounts which never makes me feel better! I do say try as sometimes I just can’t help myself… It’s that old mantra ‘compare and despair’ which i attempt to apply to my thought. Another all time fave when I’m in a bit of a tiswas is ‘This too shall pass.’ I do love a quote to navigate a psychological stormy weather-front me.
Let me know if you have had any experiences of comparing yourself with someone on social media, has it helped motivate you in anyway or does it always send you into a not so good place? Thanks for reading, you are beautiful and you are good enough!
We are all in this together
Please excuse typos, grammar and other stuffs. I just about managed a C in English GCSE so give the gal a wee break ❤️